Anonymous said: You said you cheated? I did the same and I didn't tell her yet but I love her so fucking much and I was drunk the second time and the first time he like pulled my face in and I'm sorry I'm ranting I just haven't told anyone and I need help. I know it will be over if I tell her and I can't hurt her and I can't loose her but it's killing me not to tell her.
i cheated a few years ago, so despite it being such a wrong thing and the consequences were still awful, it wasn’t quite as horrific as it could have been if i were in a deeply serious relationship now.
the guilt got away at me and i ended up telling him within a few days. not face to face, but through the phone. in hindsight, i’m glad i told him when i did. i still feel awful about everything i caused him to feel because of it, but i guess a positive is that at least it’s taught him to stand up for himself a bit more/know that he never wants to cause that pain on anyone. man that sounds so awful, but i guess it could be slightly true. i really do think you should tell the person, especially if you intend on having a serious long term relationship with them. the guilt will grow unbearable, but at the end of the day you did do it, twice. if i were your significant other, i’d want to know. wouldn’t you? if its left, you’re only prolonging the inevitable. the pain will still be there, only the trust may be more difficult to rebuild, if that’s what they still want. just make sure you do it when the person is calm, perhaps when they’re expected to see some friends later that day/the next day, and that you try and keep talking and calming them down for as long as possible. they’ll want time to think and cry, but just remember that sorry most probably won’t cut it.
ps it’s okay, i’ve ranted too
written by N’tima (via soulsscrawl)
'because you [are] taking the next step in becoming better'
becoming better. what does that make me now? not better? not well, not okay, not stable? man i’m fed up with this shit.